Were we just better friends than soulmates? What went wrong? Was everyone right that it all goes downhill after marriage....?
Nope, real life just happened!
What society described as the "honeymoon phase" faded fast. Now the fights suddenly feel 10 times worse now that we're married and I'm doubting myself…?
Being a person that over analyses every discrepancy, I spent lots of time deep in thought overthinking how I was feeling and came to the conclusion that subconsciously, I had been comparing our relationship with others on social media. I also became slave to the idea of “Everything changes once you're married” (for the worse, they say). But this is so far from the truth!!!!
Nothing changes once you tie the knot, not you , not your partner (contrary to popular belief), nothing. You remain you and your partner remains who they were before you were married too!
They still tick the same boxes. They still have the same annoying habits. They still do the same things that irritated you before you got married and will continue to irritate you.
It'll also still be same things that made you chose that person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with
Because you allowed yourself to believe that everything will change , you expected it to. You expected the perfect, blissful fairytale to continue. Then, when the reality of life carrying on as it did before, you wonder what went wrong...?
Nothing is wrong! Relationships aren't perfect all the time. This is REAL LIFE with REAL challenges. You are building a life together and that takes a lot of work, time and effort. You are both human. You can both be overworked and stressed, not to mention the pressure friends and family about babies or buying a house? It's exhausting!!
Do you know what?
It's okay not to have children or want children straight away or ever for that matter.
It's okay to wait, to travel , to focus on your career or to just enjoy each other. For some it might never happen and that's also fine. There are lots of options if that is the route you want to go. It's not a race, there is no need to add that kind of pressure on your relationship. Life has enough challenges. No need to feel pressured by society too.
They call it "Picture Perfect" for a reason. Don’t ever compare your relationship with others you see on social media. You have your own relationship dynamics, challenges and you need to address and deal with them at your own pace. What works for others won't necessary work for you, and that is the reason why you chose each other… because of the things that makes you and your partner unique and magical as one!
So, as far as social media comparing goes… please remember that nobody posts pictures fighting with their partners...
The "Picture Perfect" what society portrays... is NOT REALITY!
Stay true to yourself and to each other.